She is in my trunk
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
