my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize