i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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