We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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