I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
