How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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