Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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