I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
