fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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