I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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