Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
