I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
