Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
