I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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