Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
