i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
