Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
