normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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