have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
