I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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