He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
