Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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