i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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