You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize