I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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