Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
