I'm lost and stupid without you.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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