so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
