Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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