I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize