In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
