I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I will pee on everything he values.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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