either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
