I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
