we have officially lost it.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
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Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
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Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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