After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
