WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
