She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
