I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
