I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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