if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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