Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
