i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
