you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
