I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize