Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
