Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
