I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
