i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i've created a new STD.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
