I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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