Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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