the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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