Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
