just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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