we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
