I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
