I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize