I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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