k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The struggles of a small town man whore
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
