Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool